"Resolving Conflict Without Punching Someone Out"
When the inevitable conflict surfaces, we need to deal with it so that it doesn't drain our energy, infect our whole life, and sabotage our effectiveness."
A three step process could be used to resolve conflicts
• Deal with conflict promptly
• Determine the nature of the conflict
• Determine the method of solving
Deal with conflict promptly
Dianne noted that conflicts should be dealt with promptly as regardless of the size or scope of the problem, the first step in conflict management is simply to deal with it. Certainly the most extensive and pressing confrontations cry loudest for our attention, but many a mountain is merely the consequence of a molehill left unattended. They all must be dealt with.
Determine the nature of the conflict
For the most part, conflicts can be divided into five categories. Identify them correctly and you heal the wound. Misdiagnose them and you allow the disease to spread.
• Conflicts over personalities
• Conflicts over goals
• Conflicts over values
• Conflicts over circumstances
• Conflicts over facts
Determine the method of solving
Accommodation is used when you yield to the other person's plans. This is a good strategy when the issue is important to them and relatively unimportant to you, when you cannot win or are wrong, when you want to bank a favor for later, or when harmony is more important than the issue.
Compromise is the process of melding both party's desires into an equally agreeable alternative. Use this method when the issue is important to both of you but not worth fighting to the bitter end, when the situation is temporary and will lead to a quick fix, or when you don't have time to haggle but need to meet some of your goals.
Overpowering the other person to get your way is another option. Though sometimes seen as aggressive and domineering, this strategy can be effective and appropriate. This strategy is best used when the situation is an emergency and you have to act quickly. You may have to play the part of statesman and enforce unpopular principles or take unpopular actions for a higher good or goal.
Collaboration - joining forces with the other and working things out - is a final strategy. Make the effort and take the time to collaborate when the relationship is long-term and the situation will be recurring, when both goals are too important to compromise, or when you need buy-in from both people on the outcome.
The method of solving conflicts that works best for me are Collaborating and Compromising to attempt to obtain a win-win solution that all parties can agree too. When all parties feel that their thoughts, ideas and solutions were heard and considered, I think this allows everyone to feel validated, supported and apart of the process/solution. Although we may make Accommodations to make the final decision work, but no one walks away with their voice not being heard. I rarely had to use the Overpowering method to solve a conflict, but would if this appears to be the only option to move the process along.
Dianne shares that creating a culture of conflict awareness and resolution is essential to effective business communications and productivity. Knowing how to identify and solve problems will determine whether you're an effective manager of inevitable conflict or one who leaves behind a trail of muddled opportunities and broken relationships.
When conflict arrives "we need to deal with it so that it doesn't drain our energy, infect our whole life, and sabotage our effectiveness" Life is too short to allow conflict to control our lives.
So join me in getting fit and healthy by changing our mind, body and spirit one day at a time.
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